You Can Have My Cabbage

17 Mar

March 2013 035Seriously. I mean, what’s the point of it? You can fit lots more corned beef in your dish if you ditch the cabbage; call it “the sharin’ of the green.” And Lola can have my spuds. Bring on the beef! The love-handles/ folds of skin I acquired during my hot-tubbing days aren’t the only reason my nickname is “Mos’ Meetz;” I’m a carnivore, through and through. Lola is more of a “carbo-whore.”  She’ll go after any stray pizza crust or sandwich remnant along the way when we’re walking. The highlight of her day is if one of the chunks of bread Big Red puts out for the squirrel gets knocked into the patio where she can reach it. (Between the squirrel and the hummingbirds, Red is very well-trained. I’m glad to see that all my work with her has paid off. Note to self: reward her with some soulful eye contact and lap-time. Chicks dig that.)

When I was an Oktoberfest bouncer, I thought that March 17th was like the whole month of October rolled into one day, and I guess it is, if you do it right. More than a few times, I woke up on the 18th with a green tongue that felt as fuzzy as my memory.  Good times. As with most things, Lola is blissfully unaware of the revelry, and escaped the green bandana treatment thanks to her cowering shivers and hasty retreat under the bed. She has the Luck of the Crazy-Eyed, but, hey, photo-op for me.

Truth be told, Saint Patrick actually wasn’t all that swell of a guy in my book. They say he drove the snakes out of Ireland, but it was actually the pagans he ran out. “Snakes” is just sort of a code word. So I like to think of the green trees and the fields, and even the snakes if I’m wearing green or lapping it up today. I saw a big snake near our local dog park a few years ago. (Lola would have done her signature hunch-and-pee maneuver if she had been there, but she was still a sky-dog then, deciding who she would subject to her tireless combination of adoring torment that I have come to call “adorement.” Lucky me…winner, winner, corned beef dinner.) Anyway, the snake was slithering along, enjoying the sunshine like we were. Big Red got close enough to take his picture, because she doesn’t have good sense sometimes, and then we all journeyed on. Nobody needed to be driven out of anywhere; there was room for all of us.  Rattlesnake Oak Canyon Park 6-28-11 one

Saint Francis is more my speed. We need to plan something special for October 4th. Pet blessings are traditional, but, heck, we’re a blessing EVERY day, so we need something more festive. Food should definitely be involved. (People go crazy buying chocolates on Saint Valentine’s Day, and he’s a creepy-looking little critter. I don’t know why somebody hasn’t made a horror movie about him like the ones about the leprechaun; he wreaks a lot more havoc, it seems to me.) I guess a big Saint Francis Day barbecue would be hypocritical (in a delicious, meaty way), so maybe the feast could feature lots of peanut butter and cheese, and my favorite snap peas.  Lola would be in carbo-whore heaven.

Let her have one day, I guess. Pass the corned beef and make way for the snakes!

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